I offered to help my English teacher, who is also the cheer coach, teach the team partner stunting. how sad is it that i miss cheerleading so much that i’d offer to teach my favorite thing in the world to people who will never appreciate it? I swear, the lack of cheering is getting to me. I’m all shaky, and excited to go home so i can walk over the the elementary school and tumble. If there’s one thing i will never forgive my aunt for, it’s taking me out of cheerleading. When i cheer i’m at my best. i feel strong, and athletic. I need it so much it hurts. And now you readers are thinking , ‘is ‘cheer’ a code name for some sort of drug???’ but it’s not. i can’t explain it, how i feel. do you have any clue how powerful it feels to have someone’s life literally in your hands? how knowing that one slip up could cost someone their life feels? it’s exhilerating, to say the least. i want to cheer again. i want to feel powerful. I want to be me. I need to cheer. I need the flyers to trust me without question, to feel safe balanced on one foot in my hands. i want people asking me if they’re doing it correctly. Cheer is the only i i ever excelled at, and i want it back. It’s like a cult, or something. Every cheerleader has this routine after a competition: Watch bring it on (only the first one is acceptable), get some sort of fatty, greasy fast food, sing along to annoying pop songs that in any other situation would be shunned, practice your routine, and go to bed, then to practice the next day. And i miss that. i miss having 12 others girls my age who are like sisters to me. And i especially miss the looks on guys faces when they see me, a normal, nothing spectacular girl, lift someone the same size as me (bigger, in a few cases) into the air with ease that alludes them. i miss it all.