Tag Archives: friends

Insert Witty Title Here.

Copying Trici… Again.

 

Willow: I love you. I can count on you to be there, even though you technically aren’t, no matter what. I can be as awkward as I want around you. Sometimes more. You’re probably the only person who can make me LOL for real, even in a completely empty house.

Trici: You are like the sister I wish my sisters were. We have our ups and downs, but we always end up right back where we began- in that first period drama class, making up characters, and making videos. I trust you above all else, and dread the day we part ways.

Lily: You may be the most eccentric person I know. You are a huge Gleek, you are always on a horse, and you are kind of paranoid. You give the best hugs, and can make anyone smile. I adore you!

Erica: You are freaking awesome, and I don’t know what this year would have been like if i had never met you. You’re so confident, and you can make people laugh just by saying what’s on your mind.

Ashlei: You are my whiteness. I will never be able to think back to last year without laughing insanely, and I have you to thank for that.

Jamie: You may not be a complete replica of me, but that’s okay. You don’t need to love Harry Potter, or obsess over the suckiness of Twilight. Just stay my friend, that’s all I need.

And to everyone I didn’t mention (Because of a lack of time, not because I forgot, or didn’t care.)- I love you. We may not have more ups then downs, we may get along perfectly. Whatever our relationship, know I treasure it. Except for Michael. I can’t stand you. You are a creep, and  wish you’d stop sitting by me on the bus.

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A Ramble

Photo of TomTom Go 500

Image via Wikipedia

Utterly Alone

Image by Michelle Brea via Flickr

Item #1

It’s official; I am incapable of being friend with anyone for more then three years. And I think you can stop counting people as your friends when they’re planning a friend’s birthday party, discussing who to invite, what to bring, etc, and don’t even notice me. I was in that damn hallway for a good ten minutes, and not one hello, not even a ‘hey, where’s Trici’, like I’ve become accustomed to. And I think they understood, at least on some level, that I was upset because no one asked for gum, like they always do. That’s what i am to them: a gum dealer, and a Trici GPS. So from now on, my only friends are the ones in drama, the ones who read this blog, and the poeple I have a class or two with who aren’t in that hallway every day. Which means, as of now, I have no friends who are older then me. Joy.

Item #2

I would like to know all your guys’ first impressions of me. Just to see if everyone is as bad at making them as I am. So no lying, and no sugarcoating things. if you thought I was going to be a huge bitch, say so.

Item #3

If I get called a freshman one more time, I will not be held responsible for what I will do to the idiot who does it. I am 17 years old! I have a senior laptop! I AM NOT THAT SHORT!!! 5′ 1 1/2″ isn’t that short! So what if I have a baby face! Lots of people do, but do you see them being called freshmen? No, ya don’t.

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Abandonment Issues

In Nothing We Trust

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I am so tired of being virtually incapable to trust people 100%. But whenever someone says something that I’m not sure is sarcastic or not, I take it to heart, whether I want to or not. Like yesterday, when A said that she loved me, and B said she didn’t, I know she was just joking, but I spent the rest of the day wondering what I had done to make her not like me, and what I could do to fix it. I’ve been friends with these people for three years.If I can’t trust them, who the hell can I trust? I’m constantly worried about insulting people that i usually just end up insulting them worse. So in order to prevent this, i refrain from talking to people I don’t know, and then they get the impression that I’m rude, and cold. Or super shy and sweet, depending on what facial expression I have that day. I figure that this is why I don’t like getting close to people. No way to get hurt. In the four years I’ve lived in this house, none of my friends have ever been inside it, and only three know where it is. They all think my aunt is my mom, and no one knows that I never met my birth dad. And these are my closest friends. You guys who read my blog don’t really get just how much it cost me to keep this blog going after you all figured out about it. The last two times that happened, I deleted them. My pets know the most about me. And not even all of them. Just Jackson. He’s been there for everything, sad as that is. The time I was grounded (for a whole day. Yay discipline.) the day after christmas, he stayed with me the whole time I was being yelled at. He can kind of… sense when I’m uncomfortable, I guess. Those people who say animals don’t have souls are jackasses. There’s more soul in my slutty cat Annabelle then in the whole high school population. And animals don’t have language? *scoff* just because we don’t  understand them doesn’t mean it’s not a language. if that were true, society would collapse, because there is no one language that every single person on Earth understands. There is nothing truly unique about humans, other then our incessant need to belittle each other, and make up things to make ourselves seem most superior. And, yet again, I have strolled off to Ramble, NM. And since it’s a one way trip, I shall continue. Or not. I just sat here for about five minutes trying to think of something smart, witty, yet sensitive to write. I got nothing. Typical.

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Improving My Talents in Bed… What?

Yeah, so there’s this kid on my bus, a junior, I think, and he has come to the conclusion that since I was reading a book on my phone that had one, ONE sex scene, I am learning how to be better in bed. Huh. He’s not a super close friend, so he doesn’t know about my vow to never have sex (Hey, funny thought. What if God is just playing with us with all the no lying, killing, etc, and all we really have to do to get into heaven is die a virgin? Just a thinkling.) and I can’t really hold that against him, but still. Even if I was doing that, would I really be doing it on the bus… on my phone… sitting next to someone? No, I would not. On another note, I really like drama. The class, not the one universal flaw all humans share. I wish I had gotten into it earlier, though. But at the same time, if I had started back in Freshmen year, I wouldn’t have all the amazing friends I have now. In some ways, I think I’m closest to my Drama friends. I can tell when they’re upset, or when they’re having an off day… It’s gotten to the point where I think a few of us are even on the same cycle. I dread leaving all this next year. And for what? A degree I’ll never use? A crappy apartment in the same city I’ve lived in for years? It just seems like, after 13 years of having every day of my life planned out, and having each day end relatively well, I’m scared of going off into the world, completely unprepared. Oh, if only I could just hide away from the world in the middle of a place with trees, weather, and no one else around for miles, and just write. And oh, to never have to hear my sisters guffawing about chest hair a few feet away from me. *sigh* Well, a girl can dream.

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Family in All But Blood. We Think.

Who is my best friend and why. I have friends??? Why didn’t anyone tell me???

Huh. My best friend. Is it really possible to have just one? Or for it to even be the same person day after day, year after year? Sometimes my best friend is the almost insanely hyper, Yaoi obsessed girl who’s just recently discovered Green Day. Other times it’s the boy who I have never met in real life, yet knows more about me then anyone in my family. Once, it was even the guy who let me sit by him on the bus on my very first day of high school. of course, by now I’ve learned that he’s annoying and rude, but at the time, he was the nicest person I’d met that day. My best friends are the people who I can insult and be insulted by until the cows come home, but by the next day we’ll be talking and laughing like nothing happened. My best friends are the people who don’t let me just sit off to the side like I am prone to. The people who you go to first with problems, before your family, even, are your best friends. My best friends are funny, sweet, annoying as hell, flawed, perfect, racist, 100% AntiPC. And God help me, but I love these people.

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Why?

What is it about me that makes people feel this need to protect? it’s not like I’m some fragile piece of glass or anything, and I don’t think I look like the kind of person who needs to be protected, so what? What is it? Is it because I don’t get sex jokes very often, or the fact that I think ‘jump your bones’ means give you a hug? The fact that I’m almost too socially inept to function properly? I just don’t get it. Jamie says I’m innocent, and if it was just that, I wouldn’t be so… not really annoyed, so much as confused, I guess.

But last night, at the concert (the one i hated) and me, Syd, BC, and A got separated. You should have seen how they acted once we met up again. It was like they were really and truly devastated that I got separated from them. You’d think I was 7, not 17, the way they acted. And after the crazy chick bit A, he asked me if I was alright! Like I was the one she bit, not him! It really and honestly freaks me out.

I’ve never had anyone worry over me like my friends do. I’m the one who does the worrying. But what I really didn’t like, was how upset I was when i found out they weren’t with me anymore. I feel really stupid saying it, but I was scared. I know in the other post I didn’t really say much about how the concert made me feel, but I was 100% terrified. I’ve never been around so many scary people before, and i did not like it. At all. My slight claustrophobia didn’t exactly help, though. I don’t like touching people I don’t know.

Getting back on track; I feel really embarrassed about everything i just wrote, and it is taking me a lot of restraint to not just delete all of it. One a less confusing note: my foot isn’t broken. turns out there was a piece of glass stuck in it. *blush* My head is still killing me though. Probably from sitting up all night in the hospital with my sister, who forgot her inhaler and had an asthma attack just after 30 Seconds to Mars finished. Missed a day of school which is cool, but I also missed a day of rehearsals, which made me upset. I don’t like missing things that are important to me. Musical, yes. School, no. Sad thing is, the profession I plan on going into, therapy, requires an assload of school. And i just don’t have the grades for that. Guess i’ll just have to marry Jared Leto, and live out my days in the lap of luxury. Sigh… that is, of course, my friends let me. But whatever, this whole post is weird and awkward, so i’m just going to post it before i lose the nerve.

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Just A Little Thank You!

Also, I’d just really like to thank everyone for being supportive of my whole ‘Audition for Glee’ thing. You’re all just so nice, and if I ever do get famous, I’ll be sure to advertise the hell out of all your blogs!!! Lol… Seriously, though. You guys are amazing, and I’m so lucky to have you all. No one else I know has any clue about the Glee thing. No one. And to anyone else out there who is thinking about auditioning, do it, and I hope we all make it!! I was watching the video blogs on the extra stuff on the first part of season one on dvd, and it just looks so fun, and so tight knit… i miss having that kind of closeness. I have tried and failed to be friends with my family, and my friends aren’t close enough to be considered family… Actually, I don’t think I’ve felt that kind of closeness since I was in cheerleading. Like a family away from family, but more fun, and less likely to judge you, you know? Whatever. I’m rambling. As always. You’d think a 16 almost 17 year old would be able to stay up later then, say… 10pm? But sadly, tis not the case. Ah, me.

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