Abandonment Issues

Image via Wikipedia

I am so tired of being virtually incapable to trust people 100%. But whenever someone says something that I’m not sure is sarcastic or not, I take it to heart, whether I want to or not. Like yesterday, when A said that she loved me, and B said she didn’t, I know she was just joking, but I spent the rest of the day wondering what I had done to make her not like me, and what I could do to fix it. I’ve been friends with these people for three years.If I can’t trust them, who the hell can I trust? I’m constantly worried about insulting people that i usually just end up insulting them worse. So in order to prevent this, i refrain from talking to people I don’t know, and then they get the impression that I’m rude, and cold. Or super shy and sweet, depending on what facial expression I have that day. I figure that this is why I don’t like getting close to people. No way to get hurt. In the four years I’ve lived in this house, none of my friends have ever been inside it, and only three know where it is. They all think my aunt is my mom, and no one knows that I never met my birth dad. And these are my closest friends. You guys who read my blog don’t really get just how much it cost me to keep this blog going after you all figured out about it. The last two times that happened, I deleted them. My pets know the most about me. And not even all of them. Just Jackson. He’s been there for everything, sad as that is. The time I was grounded (for a whole day. Yay discipline.) the day after christmas, he stayed with me the whole time I was being yelled at. He can kind of… sense when I’m uncomfortable, I guess. Those people who say animals don’t have souls are jackasses. There’s more soul in my slutty cat Annabelle then in the whole high school population. And animals don’t have language? *scoff* just because we don’t  understand them doesn’t mean it’s not a language. if that were true, society would collapse, because there is no one language that every single person on Earth understands. There is nothing truly unique about humans, other then our incessant need to belittle each other, and make up things to make ourselves seem most superior. And, yet again, I have strolled off to Ramble, NM. And since it’s a one way trip, I shall continue. Or not. I just sat here for about five minutes trying to think of something smart, witty, yet sensitive to write. I got nothing. Typical.

Related Articles

• I Knew It In My Gut: 6 Ways To Learn To Trust People (hellobeautiful.com)

Movies in My Head

Image via Wikipedia

Did you know that not everyone can picture what they’re reading as they’re reading it? I learned that recently. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t automatically picture the thing I was reading about. Is that why people don’t read? Because they only see words? Do people also not make up stories in their heads when they’re bored? God, I don’t know how anyone can handle that! No reading, no imagination… What’s the fun in life if all you have are songs with loud beats to overcompensate for the lack of a story, And movies, because you couldn’t come up with something like that in your mind? Man, I have a bunch of skills that will never help me in the future, don’t I? Instead of doing math at 4, I learned how to read. Instead of being able to keep a deadline, I can read books in a day, usually less. I have a killer imagination, but I will only be able to share that with people who enjoy reading, which is about an 8th of this stupid country’s population. And our country is stupid. We only read if a book is being made into a movie, is super short, or has an Oprah sticker on the cover. And even then, we need pointless things like the Kindle, because we’d rather read a book off of a small screen, burning out our pupils, but can’t handle reading a paper book, where the most damage you can expect is a paper cut, unless someone hits you in the head with one. Like, our school is very book-oriented (entertainment wise), and even then, our library is tiny, kids only read books about vampires and the like, and some of my very best friends don’t like to read. And don’t even get me started on manga. The story lines would make great books, but are watered down to about a thousand words, and a bunch of pictures. I greatly dislike having to fear the day when books are just… gone.

Related Articles

• Great Geek Debates: Books vs. Movies (wired.com)
• Kindle 3 for people new to eReaders (ireaderreview.com)

Deaf Ears

Ugh, I just hate it when you tell people specifically not to have sex with creepy blonde vampires, but do they listen, no! I told Angel not to have sex with stupidhead Darla, but what does he do? Screws her into the mattress. Psh! And stupid Kate’s all suicidal, and Wes’ all weird… Oh, and of course there’s the whole evil demon lying in wait for Cordelia. In case you can’t tell, I just recently got Angel on dvd. And though I’ve checked a billion times and places, and am 100% certain that Doyle’s never coming back… Still hoping. And god, but Lindsey’s a beautiful man! And Spike. Mmm… Spike! And ghost Dennis is so sweet. I kinda love it.