Hey, All!

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How’s it going, lovelies? I finished a 2 page paper I had to write in English, so now I’m putting off turning it in, because i don’t want to do any more work. So I figured i’d give you all a post.

I finished my dramatic monologue for Drama last night. I think it’s pretty good, my self, but what do you all think?

Dramatic Monologue– My Baby

I never wanted to leave you, you know. It’s not like one day, out of the blue, I thought ‘Hey, I’m going to leave everything I know in this world behind and hope it all works out!’ It doesn’t work like that. It starts out a stray thought one day, while you’re driving to work. Just an innocent longing for something a little… more. No mother ever looks into her baby girl’s eyes, and plans on abandoning her, to fend off a world that just isn’t ready for her. No mother actually thinks leaving an 8-year-old girl alone with two toddlers for days at a time is good parenting. I loved you and your sisters. I still do.

You’re all grown up now, almost 18 years old. I don’t know if you remember me, or if I really even want you to. I wanted to come back to you, I really did! It’s just… Coming back to you after 9 years would do nothing but hurt you. I know, because it would hurt me, and you’re just like me. I’ve watched you cry yourself to sleep for days on end, even when no one else sees it. Every day I see you put on that same mask, and am unable to do anything to help you. I watch you cling hopelessly to every single relationship you can, and it hurts, so much, knowing I’m the reason you don’t trust anyone to stand by you, no matter what. I just wish I could find some way to tell you just how sorry I am, how much I regret leaving you to a family that doesn’t understand you. That sees your dreams, and makes a mockery of them.

‘I’m sorry’ just seems so… so cheap, when I think about all the pain I put you through. But I am. Sorry, that is. Look what I’ve turned you into! You have no self-esteem, when you should have all the self-esteem in the world. You are a brilliant, wonderful girl, and I wish I could tell you so. I know you don’t believe in God, baby, but one day, one sad, perfect day, we will be together again. And I will spend everyday from then on, trying to make it up to you. Every missed recital, every birthday, every heartbreak. Every boring, meaningless moment of your life. Just wait, baby girl, just wait.  I love you.

Is it good? I can tell you, writing a dramatic monologue is a lot easier then writing a comedic one! I’m only funny if I improv it, which I doubt we’ll be allowed to just improv a whole monologue. I can’t be funny in monologue form! It’s just not possible. When i write something funny, I end up turning it into a story, with a full plotline, and cast of character. Which are definitely not required for monologues. At all.

I promised myself i wouldn’t mention Darren Criss at all today. Guess I lost. I can’t help it, though! I was on YouTube and I came across Baby it’s Cold Outside, Glee version, and I love it. I hate that song, too, so… Darren Criss is fun. And he’s been boosting my daily views insanely, because people Google him, and I have about… 12 posts about him.

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Pre Lock-In Update

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1. Willow demanded a Lock In post, so here’s the first one. Just a list of things I’m doing, and are going wrong, to prepare for the single most fun night I get.
2. Wonderful footie pajamas I’ve been bragging about don’t fit anymore. Damn boobs.
3. Clingy aunt is determined to ruin the only fun I get that’s outside of school.
4. Mother nature may soon be dropping off her monthly gift. Bitch.
5. Kind of wigging out about Step In questions. Not really up for revealing personal crap to people i only kind of know.
6. Gotta take a shower, but our bathroom’s tub isn’t draining, and My aunt stupidly tried to flush a plant down the toilet, so her whole bathroom is gross.

Now on to the good stuff!

1. Making brownie bites at Trici’s house before the Lock In.
2. Gonna get to see Kyle and everyone else who quit drama for the first time in forever.
3. Gonna bring my piggy/pillow guy. I loves him.
4. A whole night away from my family. Even more then usual, cause I don’t even have to go home first! Instead of the usual 9 hours of freedom, i get a whopping 14 and a half!!! Sweet!
5. I get to make more memories, but with my closer friends. Instead of ones I made with the others, where i was never really a part of the memory, just a bystander.

So there you go. A general idea of what the lock in does to me. I love it!

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A Ramble

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Image by Michelle Brea via Flickr

Item #1

It’s official; I am incapable of being friend with anyone for more then three years. And I think you can stop counting people as your friends when they’re planning a friend’s birthday party, discussing who to invite, what to bring, etc, and don’t even notice me. I was in that damn hallway for a good ten minutes, and not one hello, not even a ‘hey, where’s Trici’, like I’ve become accustomed to. And I think they understood, at least on some level, that I was upset because no one asked for gum, like they always do. That’s what i am to them: a gum dealer, and a Trici GPS. So from now on, my only friends are the ones in drama, the ones who read this blog, and the poeple I have a class or two with who aren’t in that hallway every day. Which means, as of now, I have no friends who are older then me. Joy.

Item #2

I would like to know all your guys’ first impressions of me. Just to see if everyone is as bad at making them as I am. So no lying, and no sugarcoating things. if you thought I was going to be a huge bitch, say so.

Item #3

If I get called a freshman one more time, I will not be held responsible for what I will do to the idiot who does it. I am 17 years old! I have a senior laptop! I AM NOT THAT SHORT!!! 5′ 1 1/2″ isn’t that short! So what if I have a baby face! Lots of people do, but do you see them being called freshmen? No, ya don’t.

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End Of The Week Review

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So, since I am prone to forgetting to post about about a zillion things, I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to just kind of skim over the things I did this week. And when I say skim, I mean it. You wouldn’t believe the number of things I forget to post.

1. Going to the pet store to get my cats fixed and to buy some wee little mices.
2. Reading Peter and the Starcatchers. Have decided that Molly will eventually become Tinkerbelle.
3. Finally turned in that paper that I finished about two weeks ago that we’ve been working on for three.
4. Signed up to go to the drama lock in in September. Am really excited, because I heard we’re only doing the one this year.
5. Figured out how to transfer videos from my phone to my laptop, and vice versa.
6. Got a new pair of jeans, which subsequently led to me realizing that I never wear normal jeans. Just capris, shorts, etc. Huh.

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I Guess i Forgot to Give This Post a Name, So here It Is. It’s kind of Long, And it Doesn’t Ever Seem Like it’s Going to Stop, Does it? But it Will. Right……………………………. Now.

I found this wonderful piece of sequin-y cloth in drama last week, and i just found it after it had disappeared in my backpack a few days ago. Yippee! i shall post a picture of it when i get home and find my camera. that is correct, folks, Amber has yet again lost her camera. Well, not so much lost, as i let my sister use it for a project and have yet to see it. Sorry about the lost wait between posts, btw. the internet was (and still is) being a super slut this past week or so. hopefully it’ll be fixed in a few days, but if it isn’t, don’t get antsy.

Has anyone ever noticed just how many different types of fan fiction there are? i mean, i don’t read it much, but let’s face it, some people write better then the people who actually wrote the original books, and have better ideas, *cough* Stephenie Meyer *cough*. But to some point, it stops being weird and quirky and starts to be really creepy. like, people write fan fictions about bands and stuff! Why?? When did that start?

Pointless and American Idol

What is the point of having an english teacher if she can’t even read? it’s annoying, and i hate it. she can pronounce a good third of the words she reads aloud, and i seriously can’t take it anymore. How can you learn from someone who can’t even do what they’re teaching? *shakes head* whatever. on another note, in drama we’re making up skits again, only this time we get to speak! Our skit is American Idol, and i’m Paula. The infamous Ashley is Kris Allen and some random audition-er we made up. it’s great. Kris/Ashley is singing hot n’ cold by katy perry (laugh) and the random audition-er/Ashley is singing you’re so vain, and the paula song, which he wrote. it’s so funny. And jamie can’t remember names for the life of her, and she’s playing ryan seacrest, so she has to announce everyone! it’s just a lot of fun, and i wish every class was as easy and fun as drama.

Drama

how do teachers stand teaching us day after day without committing suicide, or being committed? Today i had an abortion. and my wife cheated on me with the marriage counselor, who left her for me, but i found my wife cheating with the divorce lawyer, so i killed her. And now i some how am having triplets. if i remember correctly. So very strange, we are. between my drama friends, and my regular friends, i don’t know how i even function. what at one time may have been mistaken as shyness has been revealed to simply be me being too tired to do anything crazy, having been crazy all day long with my friends! lol…

Also, most of these pictures were taken by the infamous Ashley. See inability to use a camera post for more info. lol…